INTRODUCTION
This paper
investigates what motivates transgender individuals to create videos and
interact with others on YouTube.
YouTube
YouTube is a site
that allows users to share videos as well as comment on and like videos and
subscribe to other users. The site calls itself a "forum for people to
connect, inform, and inspire others across the globe and acts as a distribution
platform for original content creators and advertisers large and small." According to YouTube's statistics page,
" More
than 1 billion unique users visit YouTube each month " and YouTube's views
in 2011 totaled more than 1 trillion. Google paid $1.65 billion to purchase
YouTube in November 2006 (Sorkin and Peters, 2006).
Beer and Burrows' (2007) reminder about social network
sites can be applied to YouTube, which is now a Google subsidiary: "First, it is important to note that
although these networks are free-to-access and user-generated they remain
overwhelmingly commercial. Second, it is the user profile that has
become the commodity of Web 2.0, as users engage in simultaneous acts of
production and consumption." In the case of YouTube, it is the user's
channel and videos that are the commodity.
RESEARCH
QUESTION
What motivates transgender
individuals to post YouTube videos about their personal experiences? How do
transgender individuals use YouTube to create identity?
DATA
COLLECTION AND PARTICIPANT RECRUITMENT
YouTube was searched using the keyword
"transgender." Users were selected for initial contact based on how
many transgender-related videos they had posted (the more the better) and if
they appeared to be current users (most recent video dated 2013).
Channels that featured content from a group of transgender individuals were not
included in the study, as the focus was on individual content creators.
31 users received an e-mail that briefly described the study and asked whether
they would be interested in answering questions via e-mail. Of the 31
contacted, 18 responded and expressed interest in participating. These users
received 3 starter questions dealing with their motivation for creating YouTube
videos, their familiarity with YouTube prior to becoming content creators, and
challenging topics/videos that they chose to share. Of the 18, 15 users
responded.
A second round of questions was sent
to every user who had answered starter questions; this round drew responses
from 9 users.
METHODOLOGY
Participants answered questions via
e-mail. The majority of questions were open-ended. Salkind (2010) notes that
open-ended questions' purpose is to "explore meaning, understanding and
interpretations rather than to treat the interviewee as a vessel for retrieving
facts." (p. 1161) Respondents' answers were then coded for themes by using
the open coding method, which involved examining the text carefully to identify
concepts. (Salkind, 2010, p. 550)
The unit of analysis varied for each
question, but following Ridings and Gefen's (2004) methodology, respondents'
answers were allowed to have multiple themes.
MOTIVATIONS
FOR USING YOUTUBE
Users were asked: Why
did you start posting videos on YouTube? Have your motivations/reasons changed
or expanded over time? If so, how?
Ridings and Gefen (2004) asked 399 people from 27
different virtual communities, "Why did you join?" and found 4 key
reasons that people participate in virtual communities, the two most common
being friendship and information exchange. The other two reasons were social
support and recreation. Results show
that for transgender individuals, a major motivation is social support, which
could be considered to encompass the themes of sharing or connecting with
others and providing support/inspiration.
Users' answers were coded for themes by the author. See the table below for a listing of
themes, the number of users whose responses included the theme, and examples of
the theme from respondents' answers.
Theme
|
Number of users
|
Examples
|
Self-benefit/personal
|
10
|
·
"document my transition"
·
"express myself"
·
Repository ("I figured the internet was
the safest bet for keeping things forever")
·
"I can look back and see where I was;
this helps by letting me know that I have come a long way when I am feeling
down "
|
Share or connect with others
|
8
|
·
"share my journey of transitioning to the
world"
·
"pass it [videos] along to
friends/family when the time came to
talk to them"
·
"What about other people's thoughts
regarding this transgender subject matter? I set out to interview people as
often as I could."
|
Advocacy/education/awareness
|
4
|
·
"spread awareness about transgender
issues"
·
"show people how to address
those negative comments and turn them into a learning experience"
·
"there were limited
topics covered in transgender videos. Most were updates on the hrt process.
I personally had no set plans to transition and I felt there was a serious lack of depth regarding the trans identity." |
Liked seeing others' videos
|
3
|
·
"I had seen other
guys posting videos and I thought it was cool to be able to see their transition
unfold"
·
"I watched transitioners on YouTube that
really helped me to believe that being me would be possible"
|
Fame
|
3
|
·
"I also wanted to become famous"
·
"it's my dream to work as a
makeup artist and I also thought this could potentially be a good way to get
my name out there"
·
"I
am in the final stages of writing my biography and YouTube is one of the
channels that I am using to build my brand"
|
Provide emotional support/inspiration
|
10
|
·
"give other transguys,
especially those who haven't started transitioning or are at the beginning of
their journeys, hope and someone to talk to"
·
"offer something back to the
community"
·
" spread hope to those that may feel completely void of
it"
|
Gain financial support
|
1
|
·
"I discovered Google Adsense. As
a transsexual I have a lot of bills that I need to pay and a few
ads help out."
|
The two most common themes were
self-benefit/personal and provide emotional support/inspiration. Both themes
were identified in 10 of 15 users' responses. The prevalence of self-benefit/personal
motivation bears out Wellman et al.'s
assertion of networked individualism, in which each person is the node of his
or her own community (2003). The asynchronous nature of the Internet means that
each person has when-I-need-it access to support and resources, as they can
draw upon the support and knowledge regardless of time, location of proximity.
Of the 15 respondents, 14 gave answers that included more than one theme. The
majority of users -- 11 -- said their motivations for posting had not changed over
time. For the four users who discussed a change or expansion in
motivation, ElectricDade said he now wants to "reach
people who are unfamiliar with transfolk. I feel that education will lead to
the normalization of trans." A second user noted that due to positive
feedback about her videos being useful and helpful, she has a new motivation to
create videos to help people. The third user said "I want to become more
of [a] voice and advocate for transgender people as I am realizing on this
transition that we don't really have anyone." The fourth user said that "the
business objective remains, but I have found myself in a more supporting role.
So many individuals are suffering and turn to me in a small way, that I almost
feel obligated to steer them in a direction that was useful to me...it really
motivates me now."
Jeff, Forest and
Jessa
said that the uniqueness of their story was a motivating factor, which supports
Ling et al.'s findings that individuals
who perceive their contributions as unique are motivated to participate (2005).
Jessa said: "I knew there were lots of other videos out there on the same
subject, and I had viewed lots myself in the past and they helped me a little.
I wanted to give back in that way and thought that everyone's story was different
enough to be worth sharing." Forest believed that "there were limited
topics covered in transgender videos. Most were updates on the HRT [hormone
replacement therapy] process. I personally had no set plans to transition and I
felt there was a serious lack of depth regarding the trans identity." Jeff
said he was motivated to
"give
back to the trans* community by adding another voice and narrative. Too often
trans* people hear that there is only one way to exist (heteronormative, on
hormones, pursuing surgery asap, etc) and I wanted to help break that
stereotype up a bit by sharing my ideas and thoughts."
WHY YOUTUBE?
Users were asked: "Why did you
choose YouTube instead of other social media sites, such as Facebook, tumblr,
or blogs? What advantages or disadvantages does YouTube offer when compared to
other social media sites?"
Several themes emerged from their responses. The
most common theme (identified in five users' answers) was that YouTube allowed
video creators to connect with a wider audience. The next most common theme
(found in three users' answers) was that YouTube was easy to use. The themes of
YouTube's audiovisual medium, ability to help others, and relative anonymity
were identified in two users' responses.
Two respondents, Jessica Tiffany and Jeff, said that they chose
YouTube because videos are an audiovisual medium. Jeff said that he was
dysphoric about his voice, but he wanted
to "share that information with viewers ... I wanted other guys who were
[dysphoric about their voice] as well to have some hope." Jessica Tiffany
said "video is a much better
format to document a transition. Then you get to see how the person changes,
hear their voice, see their mannerisms." She also sees videos as a
way to foster a "much more personal connection."
Five other respondents (Ian, Jessa, Ashlee, Violet, and Forest) said the
attraction of YouTube was the ability to create connections. Jessa said that
when she began creating videos, she was not "out" everywhere, but
YouTube gave her the opportunity to
connect with more people. Violet said that "YouTube gives me a better and
faster experience when connecting to my viewers." Violet also said that
YouTube allows viewers to communicate with her and that she feels video is
"more relatable than text on other social media sites." Ashlee said
she chose YouTube to "help add my voice to a wider community of people,
and to get the chance for more people to see who I am." Ashlee
and Forest were the only respondents who identified a negative to using
YouTube. Ashlee observed that the
potential to reach a larger audience included exposure to "a lot more
people on YouTube who aren't as supportive as other sites' communities,"
while Forest said using YouTube leaves him "potentially vulnerable on a
large scale." He explained that while he hasn't experienced this
personally, "showing your face on the internet talking about living a
controversial existence can potentially make you a target of hate or
violence." He also said that a risk of using YouTube is that transgender individuals who are living
"in stealth" could be outed to people they know who are not aware of
their transgender identity. "It
is a vulnerability knowing that is the reality -- but the price is worth it because
the healing work through YouTube is a higher payoff than the risk, I believe."
Three
respondents noted that YouTube was easier for them to use, for various reasons.
Serena said that
creating YouTube videos was easier than writing. Jessa said that "I tried to write blogs in the past but
I always felt it hard to get my thoughts down in a way that sounded like I
meant them to sound. I ended up editing and re-editing and never really sharing
anything. Talking felt much more natural." On a related note, Ian
classified himself as a "film person" who aspires to make a
documentary and said that "I guess I always have that 'media' in mind when
making decisions to share a story."
Violet's response included an altruistic
aspect, as she noted that using YouTube "helps filter though the people
that I might better spend my efforts helping." A pro-social aspect could
also be seen in Jeff's decision to share an aspect of himself that he felt
uncomfortable with - his voice - in order to help others.
Two users (Forest and
ElectricDade) said one advantage of YouTube was anonymity. ElectricDade said: "I
liked that I could stay relatively anonymous - not having to give my name or where
I live - if I didn't want to."
SELF-DISCLOSURE:
TYPES OF INFORMATION AND MOTIVATION
The discussion of big-picture motivations of YouTube
users sparked curiosity about specific motivations - to be precise, what
information or video did respondents identify as the most challenging to share
and create, and why they chose to disclose this information. Users were asked:
What was the most challenging video or piece of information you've shared on
YouTube? Why was this video/information so challenging for you? And why did you
decide to share it?
What
is self disclosure?
At its simplest, self-disclosure is "the act of
revealing personal information to others" (Archer ,1980, p. 183; as cited
in Bareket-Bojmel and Shahar, 2011). Bane et
al. (2010), in their examination of female bloggers, noted that
self-disclosure involves "risk and vulnerability" on the part of the
person sharing information.
Self-disclosure
is often a necessity for interacting with others online. Basic information such
as a first and last name, e-mail address and age (either real or manufactured)
can be required to join sites and take the first step toward setting oneself up at the hub of
one's own community, as discussed in Wellman et al. (2003).
Cheshire (2011) says: "Nonrepeated
interactions between individuals with no prior communication are not based on
trust: they are acts of risk-taking." I would argue that this applies to
every video a YouTube user shares, whether it's his or her first or 50th upload.
First, YouTube users (unless they have a private channel) cannot control who
views their videos -- so they can be considered an interaction between
individuals without prior communication. I would also consider each video a
nonrepeated interaction because while most users have a number of subscribers
and regular viewers, they still cannot be sure which of their regular viewers
will stop by to see and respond to a particular video. Why, then, do YouTube
users post videos?
Donath (2007) discussed the creation
of "supernets" that increase the number of social ties individuals
can have, and thus, the benefits of such ties.
Her analysis drew on signaling theory, and she pointed out the
difference between "assessment" and "conventional" signals.
The videos identified by their creators as challenging to create and share
could be considered "assessment signals," which Donath said are
"inherently reliable, because producing the signal requires possessing the
indicated quality. Lifting a 500-pound weight is a reliable signal of strength;
a weaker person simply cannot do it." Many of the topics and videos that
respondents identified as challenging addressed experiences unique to
transgender individuals, ranging from "coming out" to physical
changes due to hormone therapy or surgery. The possible payoff for revealing
such telling information, however, is "a kind of online social
intelligence that rewards risk-taking with new opportunities." (Cheshire,
2011, p. 53)
Links
between motivation for participation and self-disclosure
Ridings and Gefen
(2004) identified 4 major reasons that
people participate in virtual communities, the two most prevalent being
friendship and information exchange, followed by social support and recreation.
These reasons for participation are echoed in users'
motivations for disclosing sensitive information or making certain videos. The
themes of a noteworthy/important topic and the desire to share honest
information are connected to the participation reason of information exchange.
The themes of sharing to help others, to promote open conversation about
transgender experiences, or to connect with others are connected to the
participation reason of social support.
The majority of users readily identified at least one
video that was challenging to create and share.
These are the topics/videos that they found challenging:
·
coming out and giving advice on coming out
·
choices and information regarding their body
(including sexual reassignment surgery - SRS)
·
sexual preference
·
talking to their parents on camera about
being transgender
·
information about their past
·
transition videos/sharing photos from pre-transition
·
suicide
What motivated users to share
such personal information? Seven motivations were found in users' answers; most
answers included several motivations. The most prevalent motivation (identified
in the answers of 6 users) for sharing personal information was to help others
-- either transgender individuals or to foster understanding in those outside
the transgender community. Serena said about her decision to disclose her
sexual preference: "I decided to share my thoughts about it though for the
fact that there is some girl somewhere out there that is questioning herself or
is curious if it changes with hormones. I found another thing challenging about
it is that my co-workers now know my preference. I didn't want things to change
at work but I weighed the risk and said screw it!"
The next most prevalent
motivation (3 users) was that the topic was noteworthy or important. Violet identified her video "Pre.Op SRS Male to Female" as the
most challenging video to post, because she "had to talk about my genitalia. I
hate that part of my body Pre. Op. SRS and really don't like to refer to it or
acknowledge it." But she made the video "because I watched a video on
the topic someone else had made and thought it was a good topic. ... it is a
big factor in transitioning."
Three users also noted that their
motivation was to promote open conversation among transgender individuals.
Jessica Tiffany said her most challenging video was her "Neo-Vagina
Monologue," in
which she discusses her feelings about having male genitalia and her desire for
sexual reassignment surgery (SRS). Jessica Tiffany said that SRS is a sensitive
topic because she hasn't undergone the surgery yet and is anxious about the
outcome. She recalled about the process: "Recording that video
kinda bummed me out for a few days because I had put so much time in to it that
i couldn't stop thinking about it." However, Jessica Tiffany decided to
share the video because
"it's
important for trans people to be able to talk about this stuff openly so that
we can know that we aren't alone in having these feelings and also so that
other people can understand what we are feeling."
Two
users were motivated by the desire to share honest information. ElectricDade
identified his "FTM transition: One year on
testosterone"
video as the most challenging to create and called it "psychological
stretch for me," as it "not
only showed my pre-T body, but also my imperfect top surgery results, and a
history with photographs that I would prefer to forget." He also said that he was
aware that the video could draw negative feedback, and during the video
creation process he asked himself: "How honest do I want to be?"
ElectricDade says he decided to be completely honest, because he felt that his
story and history is something many people can relate to. He also said he felt
an obligation to the transgender community itself: "In a
community that feels so isolated in so many ways, I didn't want to add to that
by making things look better/worse than they were. This is the same reason I
have been completely honest about my path to being aware that I was trans, and
the truth about my less than stellar top surgery results. If I can't be honest
to people who could possibly be basing their decisions on the information I
present - then I should stop making videos. I really feel responsible for the
content I upload."
Jessa said that her most challenging video was her "'My first year of transition in pictures,'
because it included "pictures
I never intended for anyone else to ever see, but I had no others to use."
Jessa says one of the reasons she decided to share the video was based on her
YouTube viewing experiences: "I found a lot of videos on YouTube of
'miracle' transitions showing these huge transformations. I wanted to show one
that I thought was more realistic to many people. I had seen such videos in the
past and had built my hopes up (even without being aware of it) to changes and
effects that simply didn't happen to me."
Two users said they were motivated
by a desire to connect with others or by the belief that others could relate to
their story. Ian identified his most challenging video as the one in which he
shares that he doesn't want to get bottom surgery. Despite his concerns about
negative feedback, Ian decided to share because it was something he had been
thinking about a lot, he felt other people could relate to the issue, and he
hoped that his discussion would "open some peoples' minds
around the gender spectrum."
HANDLING NEGATIVE COMMENTS
While the previous section focused
on the reasons for risk-taking and some of the positive effects for users, how
do users handle negative feedback? In a small study of negative comments left on videos
of starter question respondents, the author found evidence that downvoting, the
"mark as spam" feature, and personal responses are used by both video
creators and viewers to deal with negative comments. The study found
preliminary evidence that the "mark as spam" feature is used in ways
that YouTube designers did not intend. YouTube defines spam as "content
and/or correspondences that cause a negative user experience by making it
difficult to find more relevant and substantive material," and cautions users to "use
the 'Mark as Spam' feature with extreme caution, as those who misuse it may be
prohibited from using the site."
However, my analysis of three examples of interaction that do not comply with
YouTube's Community Guidelines suggests that users choose to mark
negative comments as spam because it gives them the immediate gratification of
making comments they dislike "disappear"; in contrast, downvoting
requires collective effort and doesn't yield immediate results.
I explored this topic further by
asking respondents: How do you deal with negative or misinformed
comments (reply, downvoting, mark as spam, block user, remove comment)? How
would you describe your approach to moderating comments
left on your videos?
Respondents were evenly split on how they deal with
negative comments, with four users seeing them as an opportunity for education
and four users not choosing to respond.
Four respondents (Dade, Serena, Ian,
and Jeff) mentioned that they use negative comments as an opportunity for
education. Jeff said that he differentiates between hateful comments and
ignorant comments, and that for the latter, he will provide a "Trans 101
sort of explanation." Several respondents also expressed being conscious
of not just what they said, but how they said it - Dade said he strives to be
respectful, while Ian said he strives to not be patronizing. Interestingly,
both Serena and Dade noted that they have turned negative commenters into supporters
through engaging with them via comments.
On the other hand, four users
(Jessa, Violet, Jessica Tiffany, and Forest) said they usually do not respond
to negative comments. Jessica Tiffany explained: "If it's just a single random negative comment, I
just leave it there. They have the right to say what they want, no matter how
stupid it is, and I don't really want to get in to taking people's comments
down because I don't agree with it. These people who post mean comments most
often just want to get in to a fight on the internet, it doesn't matter what
you say, they will just argue."
Several
users mentioned that they sometimes choose to leave negative comments visible;
as Jessa explained: "It
helps to show others that there is still misdirected hate and bitterness out
there I think, and those people are really showing themselves up more than
anything anyway." ElectricDade said: "It's educational for others to
see the conversation and encourages people to think about things more deeply."
On the other hand, several users said they do remove comments and block users.
Ian said he does this for "really negative" comments; he explained
that "I don't need any more negativity in my life than I already have and
neither do most of my subscribers." Ashlee also mentioned her subscribers
as a motivator for blocking users and removing comments; she said, "I
don't want the viewers who are there for advice and/or support to read
unwarranted negative comments, that aren't constructive or polite."
Six users mentioned deleting comments
and blocking users. While ElectricDade said he tries to leave negative comments
up for educational purposes, he said he does delete and block if "serious
threats are coming my way, or I look at their channel and see disturbing
content." Jessica Tiffany said that she has been "raided by
4chan" on more than one occasion, which necessitated her disabling
comments on her videos temporarily, blocking 50 users, and deleting comments. Two
users (Ian and Jessa) mentioned using the "mark as spam" feature.
IMPACT OF YOUTUBE USE ON USER
IDENTITY AND TRANSITION
The previous sections showed that
respondents have multiple, nuanced motivations for using YouTube and for
sharing certain types of information. This raised the question of how using
YouTube affects video creators' identity and their personal transition process.
Respondents were asked:
·
What
have you learned about yourself through using YouTube (creating videos,
interacting with commenters, etc)?
·
How
has using YouTube shaped or influenced your transition process and/or your
identity as a transgender individual?
What is online
identity?
Before examining respondents' personal
experiences, a closer examination of online identity is necessary for context. Online
identities are created when individuals disclose information about themselves.
On YouTube, an online identity is created through one's videos, which feature
images and audio. For the majority of transgender YouTube users, these images
and audio are of themselves. This is an interesting mingling of offline and
online identities, as users allow an unknown audience to see what they look
like and sound like face to face. Many transgender YouTube content creators
also create timelines or monthly update videos to document changes that result
from hormone therapy. YouTube users also create identity through textual
means, such as comments and messages. Users can also build identity
through actions that signal affiliation or interest, such as liking or
downvoting comments or videos or subscribing to channels.
A primary aspect of online identity is that it is constructed and deliberate.
Thus, online identities can be a form of self-expression and creativity (the pessimists
might say they are also a form of deception). People usually need to disclose a
certain amount of information (name, e-mail, age, location - whether factual or
manufactured) to begin creating an online identity in most social network sites.
This disclosure is an essential first step to setting oneself up at the hub of
one's own community, as discussed in Wellman et al. (2003). Online identities are not static, but dynamic, as
actions (comments, posts, likes, shares, messages), the addition of friends,
and membership in groups or communities accumulate and change over time. At the same time, online
identities leave what Albrechtslund (2008) calls "digital trails," as every online
interaction is recorded and preserved. boyd (2007, as cited in Albrechtslund,
2008) says that persistence is a defining characteristic of online social networking,
in that the "
things people write in their blogs,
comment posts and other seemingly instant and situation–based communication
will be available for later scrutiny." Beer and Burrows (2007) take this
idea one step further, observing that "even making connections in
the network is an act of production as it generates a path with its own
history. "
A second primary aspect of online identity is that it circumvents traditional
boundaries such as time, place, and proximity. Wellman et al. (2003) use the term "glocalized" to emphasize how
the Internet has displaced local places as the focus of individuals'
identities, relationships, and interests; local connections are now just
one piece of the puzzle. In the case of transgender YouTube users, YouTube
allows them asynchronous access to other transgender users' experiences and
stories and a low-risk way to gain information and form relationships through messaging,
liking, or commenting.
Self-reported effects of YouTube use
Respondents were asked to reflect on
what they've learned about themselves through their experiences on YouTube. Several
users (Serena, Ian, and Jessa) observed that using YouTube built up their
confidence. Ian mentioned that his
YouTube experiences affected his life offline: "I've noticed since
starting my channel and with more videos I make... I become more confident and
social in 'real' life." This observation bears out Albrechtslund's (2008)
argument that "online social networking must be viewed as a mixed world
and relating to both online and offline activities."
Albrechtslund (2008), in expanding
the traditional concept of surveillance to include participatory surveillance, seeks to draw attention to its
"playful and social" aspects. He cites Koskela's work on
"empowering exhibitionism," in which "visibility becomes a tool
of power that can be used to rebel against the shame associated with not being
private about certain things." Koskela asserts: "Conceptually, when
you show 'everything' you become 'free': no one can 'capture' you any more,
since there is nothing left to capture." (2004, p. 208). Jessa's response
to this question echoes these ideas: "Being able to share personal parts
of my life with total strangers, it was daunting to think of but it felt quite
liberating to do. Just kind of like saying 'This is me and I am not afraid if
people want to dislike me for it anymore. So I'm telling the world.' I felt
braver and more confident for doing it."
Two users (Ian and Jessa) noted that
using YouTube helped them deal with negative reactions. Ian said: "I've
learned that people can be pretty brutal ... I've gained some thick skin during
this process."
ElectricDade said his experiences on
YouTube have helped him cultivate "patience and tolerance. By
posting videos on a subject that many people find outlandish, I open myself up
to a lot of criticism. Remembering that my example can make it of break it for
other transmen helps me to respond in a respectful way."
Three users (Ian, Jessa, Violet)
mentioned that YouTube helped them recognize commonalities with others. Jessa
observed a reciprocal effect on her video-making: "Talking with others I
have learned that things I felt/experienced were not 'just me' and that they
felt similar things, or had similar struggles. So it's helped me feel more
relaxed with what I share." Violet said: "I have learned that I am
really no different or unique to the sea of other people in the world. Yes, there
is no one like me, but the differences are so small that I really don’t feel
all that special or unique compared to some of my viewers as some of them might
find me to be."
Jeff, however, found that the
opposite was true for him: "I learned how to be really
conscious of differentiating my personal experiences from that of other trans
people. It's so easy to sometimes think all trans people want what I want, and
vice versa, and vlogging and getting involved in YouTube has helped me realize
that there are so many different ways to transition."
Influence of YouTube on transition
process
Six out of nine respondents, when
asked about how YouTube has shaped their transition, cited the influence of and
interaction with other users.
ElectricDade, Serena and Jessa noted the
impact of other YouTube users sharing their transition process. Serena said:
"Prior to coming out, I looked at YouTube for connections of my story to
others. YouTube gave me the inspiration to transition seeing girls ahead of me do
it and succeed gave me the hope to pursue my dream of being me."
Forest and Jeff said that
they use others' YouTube videos for drawing useful comparisons. Jeff said
YouTube has emphasized for him the uniqueness of each person's experience,
noting that: "I choose my language very carefully. For example, I just
made a video talking about my decision to pursue top surgery and my decision in
selecting a surgeon... I did not want to imply that my methods were the only
way to do it – this idea of 'one way to be trans' is very common (i.e., on
hormones, 100% in the gender binary, etc) – so I really like discussing my own
experiences and then watch videos of other trans guys and see how they differ."
Forest referred to YouTube as a "learning and networking tool." He
said that YouTube helped him determine "when
my doctors or therapist were doing something experimental or unsafe." For
instance, videos helped Forest figure out that he should get his blood tests at
the end of his testosterone shot cycle for the best results -- important
information that he says his doctor didn't disclose. Gaining this information
from YouTube helped Forest avoid a shot regimen based on skewed test results
that would have, in his words, put him on a "crazy hormone roller
coaster." Forest's experience supports the point that Donath (2007), in discussing the
work of Granovetter (1973, 1983), made: "a key strength of weak ties is
their ability to provide a wide range of information. Despite the ubiquity of mass media, personal
networks remain an important information source. People can use their beliefs
about another person's knowledge and credibility to assess new ideas that come
from that source. People care about many matters that are too personal, too
local, to be part of a central repository."
Jessica Tiffany, while noting that
"I've shaped my own identity
through my real life experiences, and YouTube is just where I share myself,"
said that compliments and support from viewers bolstered her self-esteem. She
also said using YouTube helped her construct an identity that includes the
recognition of her influence on others: "It has shaped my identity as a transgender individual in that now I feel
like I'm semi-famous within the internet trans community and that my videos
will help people for a long time."
The
three other respondents who did not explicitly mention interactions with other
users talked about changes within themselves. Ashlee found that YouTube taught
her it's "important to not try and fit in a box, trying to live up to
other people's standards." Violet said YouTube has influenced her
transition by serving as a "giant time capsule," as well as providing
motivation: "In every video I can see where I am and I desire to be better
than the last one in every new video." Ian said YouTube helped him become
more comfortable with who he is and that he feels that "I'm growing into
myself more and more."
Respondents'
discussion of how viewing videos, creating their own, and interacting with
viewers has shaped their identity affirm the intertwined nature of production
and consumption in Web 2.0 (Beer and Burrows, 2007). It is also clear from
respondents' comments that viewers' productions -- in the form of comments,
subscriptions, and likes -- are also powerful.
CONCLUSION
While respondents were
initially asked about possible offline connections with people they come into
contact with on YouTube, this aspect of their experience was not included in this
paper. As data was gathered, a focus on motivation and global and specific
instances emerged. Responses to Williams'
Internet Social Capital Scales (2006) were also not included for the same
reason.
Quotes
from YouTube users' responses were included as much as possible in order to
represent their experiences in their own words. An added benefit was that the
use of quotes showed the intertwined nature of respondents' motivations -- many
quotes display several motivations at once.
When reviewing the interview
data, a pattern that emerged was that respondents' actions on YouTube were not
only influenced by personal needs or desires, but also by a strong consciousness
of how their actions may support or connect with specific audiences -- usually
other transgender individuals, but often the
general public as well. While YouTube does not qualify as a
heavyweight peer production model -- the transgender vlogging community lacks
explicit rules and procedures, as well as "internal negotiation of purpose
and form (genre)" (p. 5) -- this
investigation of user motivations shows a movement from individual to group
focus that Haythornthwaite (2009) identified as a characteristic of heavyweight
peer production models. Haythornthwaite,
in discussing heavyweight and lightweight peer production models, cites Raymond
(1998), Benkler (2005) and Willinsky (2005) to support her assertion that
heavyweight peer production starts from a "personal-but-shared everyday
need" (2009, p. 5). Haythornthwaite also notes that "in some cases
the commune is the product ... Work
on virtual communities and organizations shows these function through
discussion, knowledge sharing, derivation of practice, co-evolution of
technology and practice, and situated cognition." (p. 5).
YouTube
could also be considered a variant of "communal lifestory-sharing
sites" (Lenart-Cheng and Walker, 2011). Communal lifestory sites are both
deeply individual (sharing personal experiences) and community-focused, as
individual sharers recognize the "potential communal effects of their
actions" (Lenart-Cheng and Walker, 2011, p. 141). This description of how technology has
affected lifestory sharing could describe the typical YouTube vlog:
Today's
lifestory-tellers can share their stories instantaneously, without waiting for someone's authorization; they can
share them in installments, without having
completed them; they can share them through a great variety of media; they can share them with as wide an
audience as they wish; and by deciding how,
where, and with whom to share, they can choose the causes and networks they wish to support.
(Lenart-Cheng and Walker, 2011, p. 142)
While
Beer and Burrows' caution about the commercial nature of most social network
sites rings true for YouTube, this research project uncovered a kind of appropriation,
which Kirman et al. (2012) said is often beneficial. Users are making the most of the site's video and
connection capabilities to document and celebrate their transitions and
transgender identity as well as to gain and give support. This is "a move
from the mode of consumption to a form of creativity. In this way, they seize
power over tools from the hands of their creators." (Eglash, 2004; as
cited in Kirman et al., 2012, p. 127).
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
The
author wishes to thank Ashlee,
ElectricDade, Forest, Ian, Jeff, Jessica Tiffany,
Serena and Violet for their reflective,
thoughtful and honest responses that made this research project possible.
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